Brendan and I talked nothing about sports in this podcast.
* I tell my really bad Farsi joke that cracks me up.
* We try to honor Tony Gwynn as best we could.
* We talk about Clayton Kershaw’s no-hitter and how it stacks up in history. Kerry Wood and Harvey Haddix are mentioned.
* We talk about Eric Garcetti and his f-bomb.
* The obligatory OJ nostalgia trip.
* World Cup nonsense.
* Rian Johnson and Star Wars.
* We talk about the fisting class while in a car!!!
The podcast opens with Revolting Cocks’ “Beers, Steers and Queers” as heard on the Wax Trax Black Box compilation and ends with Coil’s “Teenage Lightning (10th Birthday Edition)” from Black Antlers. I even snuck in a bit of Foetus’s (J.G. Thirlwell’s) remix of Nine Inch Nails’ “Wish” entitled “Fist Fuck” from the Fixed EP.
children are stupid and usually good for nothing. today on my jaunt through the ocean trails, one of my favorite places in san pedro, i have to cross through trump national. i’m listening to the latest episode of “cyberage radio” and sort of lost in a bigod 20 remix of birmingham 6’s “police state”.
two golf carts loaded with kids drove past me. i heard the chorus, “excuse me old man,” from these stupid slobbering miniaturized humans. i look around and realize i’m the only motherfucker walking around. these stupid shits just called me an old man. i hope they all get cold sores.
for the first time since i sprained my ankle, i was able to jog a bit which made me happy and incredibly sweaty. of course it is this ocean trails which have what i’ll call the sagebrush stairs since it doesn’t have an official name. i guess the “sagebrush walk trail” is the official name, but it doesn’t cut it for me. the thing to be wary about with the stairs is the cacti growing along the side of the stairs. it’s not too prolific, it’s just long enough to the heart beating.
i swear, chandler parsons. he’s a restricted free agent with the houston rockets. he’s cute as a button and wears pretty clothes and all that. i don’t know if i would actively want to have sex with him, but i wouldn’t turn it down if he offered. he and jeremy lin have some sort of “bro-mance” i suppose.
but does he have to be such a dullard? i guess that’s what you get from florida?
NBA and Stanley Cup Playoffs. Life in general. Things have taken my attention away from the Dodgers. Of course, since I’m not at every home game like I have been over the past several years, it’s easy to see how this can happen.
But after the Kings won the Cup on Friday and the Spur won another ring last night, it’s time to see what the hell has been going on with the Dodgers.
Sure, thanks to Twitter I have seen people complain about the Dodgers’ mediocrity. I did predict the Giants to win the division before the season started, so the fact that the Dodgers are a tick over .500 comes as no surprise.
The Dodgers started the day trailing the Giants by 6 1/2 games and hold on to the final NL Wild Card spot by a half-game over the Miami Marlins and Washington Nationals. And with the 6-1 win over the Colorado Rockies and the Giants idle, that deficit was cut to six games.
One of my long-held gripes about the Dodgers was their penchant for leaving runners on base. Six runs on 15 hits is probably not ideal. Sure they left 11 runners on base, but they went 5-for-15 (.333) with runners in scoring position. Hell, that’s nearly perfect considering what I have seen from this team over the recent years.
Dee Gordon caught my eye. I’ve heard that he’s improved, and he proved it to me in this game. He went 4-for-4, a walk and a what-would-be-an-inside-the-park-homer in the third inning which ended up being a triple with an error given to left fielder Charlie Blackmon. Add three singles and two runs scored, and he was the straw that stirred the Dodgers’ drink tonight.
Yasiel Puig had three hits while A.J. Ellis and Matt Kemp had two-hits each as they backed up a good performance by Hyun-Jin Ryu.
Ryu went six innings only giving up a solo homer to catcher Wilin Rosario in the fourth inning on a 0-2 pitch. Ryu even had to cover his face in embarrassment for giving up an 0-2 homer. But his six strikeouts and three hits allowed should have atoned for that.
The bullpen cemented the win with Brandon League, JP Howell, Brian Wilson and Jamey Wright locking up the win for the Dodgers. The only blemish was Josh Rutledge’s single given up by League in the seventh inning.
I’m not going to be in the business of saying the Dodgers can’t make up the six-game deficit they currently have in the division. I witnessed first hand what the Dodgers did last year, and we all saw the Kings stare the impossible in the eye.
If the Dodgers can continue to do what they did tonight, I’m not counting them out of anything. But the question is consistency, and I guess we’ll see if they can do that.
la mayor eric garcetti stole the kings stanley cup rally. in 2012 it was jonathan quick who dropped the f-bomb. he was not asked to speak today.
the players were told not to curse in today’s rally. the kings didn’t count on mayor eric though. he was received with a smattering of applause and audible boos. sports fans don’t really like warming up to politicians, especially one viewed as being pretty boring. then mayor eric dropped the mic.
“there are two rules of politics. they say never ever be pictured with a drink in your hand, and never swear. but this is a big fucking day.”
unfortunately for mayor eric the mayoral election isn’t for another three years. if it occurred anytime soon, i bet that mayor eric would be reelected by a resounding majority.
First off, a shoutout to Hank and Petra from the Hillbilly Nerd Talk podcast. They sent along nice words about our little outfit we’ve got going on here, and they have an entertaining podcast as well. Hell, if anyone from Appalachia can stomach our filthy talk, then they’re worth listening to.
Of course, this is our first show on the weekly format. As you might notice, we did get this podcast way under one hour which was one of our goals. In this episode we talk about:
* The Kings winning the Stanley Cup.
* Sports stupid superstitions.
* Republican and voter idiocy.
* Stoning gays or stoned gays?
* More fisting talk.
* Why Matthew Harrison is a bitch.
* Gravy enemas.
Of course with the Kings winning, we opened with The Briggs’ “This is L.A.” and Mike Emrick’s call on NBC of Alec Martinez’s game winner in double-overtime. We ended the podcast with Josie Cotton’s “Johnny, Are You Queer?”
i figured 3 weeks was long enough to be out of commission, so i decided to go back to the scene of the crime while listening to coil’s black antlers. “scene of the crime” was actually going to be the title of this post, but more on that later.
i looked down that precipice, and it really didn’t look that steep to be honest. it confirmed that it was my stupidity, my mental retardation that caused me to take the tumble and sprain my ankle. i started to have the thought of going down that trail, but in a rare moment of clarity i stopped. i just took a picture and went on my way.
at the end of burma road, the halfway point of this particular jaunt, i sat down on one of the rocks not really to catch my breath but really to gather my thoughts. then up comes this man with a sun hat, long sleeved shirt and khakis. i could tell he was an asian man in his 40s. i made some idle chit chat for a bit, and once i got tired of that decided to head off back to my car. to my horror he followed.
he asked me what i did for a living, and the more he talked the more i realized he was korean. he was getting awfully comfortable talking to me. i mentioned that in a former life i was a numbers cruncher. then out came the misogyny. how women are stupid but they’re good at accounting. how women as managers can only get rid of employees. how women drive him to drink. how he loves to drink. a lot.
i kept trying to interject that you can’t really make generalizations, that women are essential. but he wasn’t hearing any of it. typical korean man, really.
i was trying to think of how to properly tell him off when he announced he was going to take off on another trail. saved. back to coil, and i went back into the joyous haze of their music. as i was going back up to my car, i kept thinking about my cousins if they fell in line with this dude’s thinking.
i resolved if any of my cousins were this misogynistic, i would punch out all of their teeth. yes. that’s a good solution.
A couple of changes to the B&J Podcast. Firstly, as you will notice in this episode, there are no more musical breaks. Just a song at the beginning, a song to close and that’s it. Secondly, this podcast will become a weekly podcast. We’re trying to get this to a more manageable length, so if the podcast is more frequent then maybe it will help? Don’t worry. We have our doubts about this, too.
The songs we played were Failure’s “Stuck On You” and “The Nurse Who Loved Me” to celebrate their concert at the Henry Fonda Theater on June 18.
What we talk about:
* The first ever Hello Kitty Convention
* Stockroom’s kink classes and why they’re important
* Fisting
* Brendan’s new computer
* My trip to the Watts Towers including being called “eccentric” at Hawkins House of Burgers
* Final thoughts on the IV shooter and hashtag activism
* LA Pride
* Folsom Street and Dore Alley Fairs
* Former MLB catcher Matt Treanor’s experience at Folsom
None of this was as bad as I’d feared. But what I hadn’t expected to hit even a quarter so hard was what Mya called the mental stuff,” which was unendurable, a sopping black curtain of horror. Mya, Jerome, my fashion intern—most of my drug friends had been at it longer than I had; and when they sat around high and talking about what it was like to quit (which was apparently the only time they could stand to talk about quitting), everyone had warned me repeatedly that the physical symptoms weren’t the rough part, that even with a baby habit like mine the depression would be like “nothing I’d ever dreamed” and I’d smiled politely as I leaned to the mirror and thought: wanna bet?
But depression wasn’t the word. This was a plunge encompassing sorrow and revulsion far beyond the personal: a sick, drenching nausea at all humanity and human endeavor from the dawn of time. The writhing loathsomeness of the biological anyone. Even the beautiful ones were like soft fruit about to spoil.
The Goldfinch Ch. 9 Sec. xi, Donna Tartt, 2013
when i quit smoking, i really did feel like this but to a lesser extent. there was the depression, the regression to my adolescent mood swings. when people would ask me how i was doing, i replied with a smile, “i’m too broke to afford the rope to hang myself with, but other than that i’m doing all right.” i still find that greeting to be funny.
i don’t know why it took me this long to read donna tartt’s latest novel, but i’m glad i finally got to it. i loved her first novel the secret history, and for some reason i never read the second novel. but this one has been tons of fun.
