The Funemployment Chronicles Pt. 2

I’m out in the middle of the desert. While last year I went to a house that sat on a 5-acre plot of land in 29 Palms with nothing around (NOTHING!), this year I am at Madd’s boytoy’s house in Apple Valley that is armed with a pool. It’s not quite the middle of nowhere solitude that I do like, but I must admit that the convenience is quite nice.

Since I am exactly one week away from the new job, my plan is to take the next couple of days lounging pool side, accidentally gulping a ton of chlorinated pool water and finishing Gravity’s Rainbow. It’s a hectic action-packed schedule, I know, and I can only hope I don’t wear myself out before I go home on Wednesday.

I find it weird being a houseguest. I’m used to either renting a hotel room or getting an Airbnb where I am alone. I don’t feel I can truly be 100% at ease no matter how close I am with the person — and Madd is one of my closest friends. I always want to be considered a good houseguest, so I’m always walking on pins and needles trying to be as inoffensive as possible. There’s a specter of judgement that hangs in the air regardless if it is true or imagined.

This is the reason I live alone. I can deal with judging myself — I’m a fucking idiot so I can easily disregard what I think.

The other thing that weirds me out is that I don’t have the alarm or garage door opener, so I feel a bit trapped. Actually, it’s more that I feel reliant on someone else for things and my well-being, and I really hate that feeling.

Regardless, I am enjoying relaxing and attempting to turn my mind off. Let’s see how it goes.