It’s Real Hard

I’ve been a lucky fag. I have never had a VD, STD, STI or whatever is the vogue name for it. I have never known anyone to be diagnosed with HIV though many have come close. That’s why when a close friend told me he was diagnosed with HIV this morning, I’ve been taking it pretty harshly. Growing up in the 80s, I’ve always known about AIDS and HIV. I saw the struggles of Ryan White. I saw the entire sports world gasp in disbelief when Magic Johnson abruptly retired after being diagnosed with HIV. I’ve seen images of the first AIDS victims wasting away with the indelible scarlet letter of Karposis Sarcoma sores littering their bodies. I also remember the struggle groups like ACTUP endured to get more AIDS education and awareness out to the public. It seemed to work since in the 90s new cases started declining. Since people have started to live longer with the virus, the caution and urgency have gone by the wayside and cases are on the rise yet again. That’s why I’m pissed as hell right now. I’m pissed at this friend for allowing himself to be in a position to get HIV. Everyone knows the risks involved especially in the gay community. So why not take the ten seconds it takes to put a condom on? I’m pissed at our country. Here we are spending billions on the War in Iraq annually, yet there doesn’t seem to be the same level of commitment to erase AIDS, cancer and other maladies. We can spend money to kill people, but we just can’t put the same time and energy to help prevent people from dying. I’m just feeling a myriad of emotions now that I’m shellshocked. I will completely support my friend when he needs anything. But this is a new one for me, and as for all of the fags before me it’s not pleasant at all.